Lesson thirteen: A nice cuppa fixes all

One of my new favourite places to spank money I don’t have is Babi Pur. They’ve got everything from toys, clothes and baby carriers to lube, deodorant and sandwich bags. They’ve got your back, and it’s all just about as planet friendly and ethical as you can get. So I have to spend all that money I don’t have there, I have no choice, I’m helping the planet, duh.

They’ve got reductions across their menstrual products at the moment so I fully blame them for mother nature returning from her gap yarr this week.

Now, it’s just a bit of blood and I’m confident you can all handle this but, for anyone who is squeamish about this subject, now’s your chance to remember something VERY IMPORTANT you need to do immediately. Examples are; checking the car tyre pressures, taking the bins out and cleaning the oven, because you might as well do something constructive while the adults talk.

I made the switch away from disposable sanitary products when my daughter was born. I looked at the washable wipes I’d bought for her and thought if I’m doing that I might as well do cloth nappies. I looked at the cloth nappies I’d bought and realised I’d be a hypocrite to use plastic sanitary products for myself. So here I am, with rags down my pants.

Except everything is a lot less medieval than I anticipated. Cloth pads feel… nice. Don’t get me wrong, on a scale of things I’d find nice down my pants sanitary products of any sort don’t come top of the list, but these beat that disposable rubbish hands down. They’re comfy, absorbent, easy to clean (no stains, who’d have thought it?!) much better for my wallet and I don’t get crippling cramps anymore.

However, I want to be free to live my life, period or not. So what about swimming, running*, jumping and, well, sleeping without leaving a trail for the bears to find me? I’ve always been more of a tampon than a pad kinda woman so where does this leave me? Well, I’ve taken the plunge and bought a menstrual cup. Admittedly I haven’t had a chance to take this bad boy for a proper test drive yet but after a day I’m already convinced it’s a little bit amazeballs. 12 hours use, no toxic shock syndrome, safe to sleep in, no more forgetting to buy tampons and two fingers up to the tampon tax once a month.

I remember when I was a teenager seeing the adverts for Mooncups on the backs of toilet doors and thinking how horrific a dam up your downtown sounded. Thinking it through now though a dam sounds more attractive than a bundle of leaky synthetics** up your vajayjay. Also years of vomit, shit and two labours have upped my eww-factor. A bit of period blood is nothing compared to your dog shitting, eating it and throwing up.

Surely if we bestow something the honour of entering our vaginas it should be the best? Aren’t we worth more? Put a cup in it have a quiz on their website to help with choosing wisely: https://putacupinit.com/quiz/. Find the Babi Pur reductions here: https://www.babipur.co.uk/reusable-menstrual-cups-pads.html

For the squeamish (read: pussies) it’s safe to return to the room now.

*sort of, not really though, I’ll just put active wear on again

**Honestly I haven’t spent hours looking in to this but it looks like tampons are mainly made of cotton (mostly GM) and synthetics to up the absorbency including rayon which seems to be linked to TSS. Most are bleached which produces dioxins in trace amounts and some are fragranced as well but the ingredients aren’t listed. It’s not like you’re plunging a cancer stick up your foofoo but it’s a lot easier to figure out what’s in, or not in, a cup 🤷‍♀️

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