Eight years ago my sister and her then boyfriend offered me the spare room in their holiday apartment. I tagged along with them and a group of friends, how hard could mountain biking be after all? We can blame quite a lot on that holiday. My sister got engaged on a mountain side. Things took... Continue Reading →
Mother [to herself]: Aren’t they playing nicely. I’ve nailed this. Mother [to children]: I’m going to get dressed my little cherubs, lights of my life, future of my world. Children: [Completely blank the person who gave them life] Mother leaves stage left Mother enters stage left Mother: Fucks sake (In the 30 seconds allotted for... Continue Reading →
This has nothing to do with dogs or dependents so if you came to this page for pics of cute pups and have found yourself reading about how I avoided a DYI labiaplasty, sorry about that. I’ve been trying to swap out single use items for products with longer life spans so before Christmas I... Continue Reading →
I’ve used this picture before but I thought it was pretty topical. This week the Leader of the Free World visited our tiny island. As this page is about dogs and dependants I’ll try to keep it on theme. My dogs are a very good judge of character. They are castrated and they love rolling... Continue Reading →
With Mother's day, my Mum's birthday and the anniversary of her death I'm not a fan of this time of year. I've been trying to write a post about her for a while but never found the right words or context. This week however I wish she was here and I want to talk about... Continue Reading →
One day the MD, the Unidog and Mummy took a walk. 'So kiddo, what type of cake would you like for your birthday?' asked Mummy. "Unicorn" said the MD decisively. 'That might be a bit tric-' "UNICORN" Mummy was silent for a moment, internally cursing her choice of words. 'What flavour cake' she thought, 'FLAVOUR'.... Continue Reading →
In my top 5 stressful situations* is a vets trip. Today it was inevitable as the King of Melancholy broke a nail. Leaving one mutt at home isn't an option unless I want a new basement dug out, several noise complaints and some surprise interior design. So that leaves two options; 1. Take both dogs in,... Continue Reading →
Key skills A persistent individual with a diverse, self-taught skillset and an emphasis on attachment methods, interspersed with episodes of screaming in to pillows. Recent achievements include not losing either flight risk at the supermarket, remembering to put the defrosting meat out of the dogs' reach and taking the washing out of the machine within... Continue Reading →
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes batshit things happen ALL THE TIME to the same person which forces us to question, why? What did you do to the universe? The family group chat this morning: Brother DD: Did you leave your son's tooth here? I've just found one stuck to my piece of... Continue Reading →
30 minutes in to holiday: - Glassware, groceries, bins and any possible shanks moved to the top shelves - Nappies hung up to dry - Dog prison assembled - Daddy's trousers removed - Park visited approximately 28 times - 'Why?' answered 15 times 1 day in to holiday: - Dogs walked three times - Zero... Continue Reading →
Me and my DDs: dogs and dependants 