An apology

We took the van to the Lakes this weekend. It took approximately 150 Tracker bars to get the kids round the walk and two grown adults to lift the all weather hunting dog on to the scary boat at the end. We passed sheep, drenched Duke of Edinburgh students, smug runners and more sheep. We... Continue Reading →

Lesson eighteen: Keep the pyjamas on

Mother [to herself]: Aren’t they playing nicely. I’ve nailed this. Mother [to children]: I’m going to get dressed my little cherubs, lights of my life, future of my world. Children: [Completely blank the person who gave them life] Mother leaves stage left Mother enters stage left Mother: Fucks sake (In the 30 seconds allotted for... Continue Reading →

For their Dada

My rules may control the fun, but you inject the fun in to this operation. That came naturally to you. You see the bigger picture. You're not offended if Daddy isn't the favourite, instead propping me up when only Mummy will do. You carry them when their legs are tired and swing them when their... Continue Reading →

Mr President

I’ve used this picture before but I thought it was pretty topical. This week the Leader of the Free World visited our tiny island. As this page is about dogs and dependants I’ll try to keep it on theme. My dogs are a very good judge of character. They are castrated and they love rolling... Continue Reading →

The MD and the Unidog

One day the MD, the Unidog and Mummy took a walk. 'So kiddo, what type of cake would you like for your birthday?' asked Mummy. "Unicorn" said the MD decisively. 'That might be a bit tric-' "UNICORN" Mummy was silent for a moment, internally cursing her choice of words. 'What flavour cake' she thought, 'FLAVOUR'.... Continue Reading →

Mrs DD; a CV

Key skills A persistent individual with a diverse, self-taught skillset and an emphasis on attachment methods, interspersed with episodes of screaming in to pillows. Recent achievements include not losing either flight risk at the supermarket, remembering to put the defrosting meat out of the dogs' reach and taking the washing out of the machine within... Continue Reading →

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