Step 1: Child complains of cold hands. Step 2: Search every consumable outlet for teeny tiny gloves. Step 3: Proudly present new purchase to child, who throws themselves to ground in disgust at prospect of wearing gloves. Step 4: Store unloved gloves in safe place. Step 5: Forget safe place. Step 6: Child proclaims... Continue Reading →
Lockdown Letters – Part 2
From: Me and my DDsSent: Wednesday, 12 January 2021To: FamilySubject: Lockdown three, week one Hi Dad Anticipating the announcement I stocked up on some paint to do the hallways. Should have realised this was optimistic, as soon as you say wet paint the kids see ‘big red button’. Must remember to only buy water based in future, where do... Continue Reading →
Boundaries
Remember back in February when you thought you needed more work life balance and then March happened and now boundaries have taken a time out. How long is too long not to shower? Or dress the kids? Clean the house or leave the house? I had to fill the van up for the first time... Continue Reading →
Baby Loss Awareness Week 2019
I am exhausted, able to act out the entire Peppa Pig back catalogue, trying to figure out how to entertain them for another day. I'm one of the lucky ones. I remember being in high school and Mr A telling us periods are like losing a child once a month, so it's no wonder Mrs... Continue Reading →
Lesson eighteen: Keep the pyjamas on
Mother [to herself]: Aren’t they playing nicely. I’ve nailed this. Mother [to children]: I’m going to get dressed my little cherubs, lights of my life, future of my world. Children: [Completely blank the person who gave them life] Mother leaves stage left Mother enters stage left Mother: Fucks sake (In the 30 seconds allotted for... Continue Reading →
For their Dada
My rules may control the fun, but you inject the fun in to this operation. That came naturally to you. You see the bigger picture. You're not offended if Daddy isn't the favourite, instead propping me up when only Mummy will do. You carry them when their legs are tired and swing them when their... Continue Reading →
Safety razor
This has nothing to do with dogs or dependents so if you came to this page for pics of cute pups and have found yourself reading about how I avoided a DYI labiaplasty, sorry about that. I’ve been trying to swap out single use items for products with longer life spans so before Christmas I... Continue Reading →
Mr President
I’ve used this picture before but I thought it was pretty topical. This week the Leader of the Free World visited our tiny island. As this page is about dogs and dependants I’ll try to keep it on theme. My dogs are a very good judge of character. They are castrated and they love rolling... Continue Reading →
Motherless Mother’s Day
With Mother's day, my Mum's birthday and the anniversary of her death I'm not a fan of this time of year. I've been trying to write a post about her for a while but never found the right words or context. This week however I wish she was here and I want to talk about... Continue Reading →
The MD and the Unidog
One day the MD, the Unidog and Mummy took a walk. 'So kiddo, what type of cake would you like for your birthday?' asked Mummy. "Unicorn" said the MD decisively. 'That might be a bit tric-' "UNICORN" Mummy was silent for a moment, internally cursing her choice of words. 'What flavour cake' she thought, 'FLAVOUR'.... Continue Reading →
Me and my DDs: dogs and dependants 