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Me and my DDs: Dogs and Dependants

Two stupid dogs, two relentless children, two clueless parents

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Bobble #dogsanddependants #gsplife #meandmydds #outdoorkids #amamayaclothing @amamayaadventurebaby #kiteclothing @kiteclothing #nostellpriory @ntnostell @nationaltrust

#gspofinstagram #gsp #gsplife #gspoftheday #germanshorthairedpointer #meandmydds #dogsanddependants

The artist formally known as Boob Baby Well that's it. My body is officially mine again and I never have to breastfeed for the rest of my life. There's some real positives to this; - No more making sure my tops have easy access - No more bloody expressing - Alcohol - Lots of alcohol - Normal, regular person bras - No more excuses from Mr DD along the lines of 'aaahhhhhh, he's probably hungry'. From now on our nipples have an equal status in this house. However, my children have left my breasts... weathered. Or withered. Or a shadow of their former selves, and diagnosing what is wrong with your child rather than just sticking them on the boob is annoying. Actual parenting, ergh. Judging by his behaviour I'm fairly certain he has only been tolerating me so far because of my previous powers of lactation. While it's lovely to hear how happy he is while being cared for by others, it would be nice if he kept the odd smile for his parents. At home he has set his scream dial to 11 and won't budge. So to you my boy, stop growing and think about your at home attitude. You can walk-ish, talk-ish and sometimes even sleep-ish. You can climb, and answer back and dance. You've formed an alliance with Spotty Crotch that I could only dream of. One day soon I will find you next to the open fridge feeding your buddy contraband. That dog tolerates me, would die for Mr DD and play with the MD but you kiddo he will follow forever. Bye bye to the baby years. I know we'll look back with fond memories but for now, I'm looking forward to prolonged periods of sleep, solo showers and two little shits to yell 'NO' at me. That's the dream. https://dogsanddependants.com/2018/11/09/the-child-formally-known-as-boob-baby/ #dogsanddependants #dogsandkidsofinstagram #dogsandkids #dogsofinstagram #gsp #gspofinstagram #gsplife #meandmydds #outdoorkids #spottyotter #amamayaclothing @spottyotter @amamayaadventurebaby

Muddy dependants. Happy dependants. #dalbyforest @dalby_forest #littletrekkers #spottyotter trousers #amamayaclothing bobble #polarnopyret coat #t5 #transportert5 #vw #dogsanddependants #dogsandkidsofinstagram #dogsandkids #dogsofinstagram #gsp #gspofinstagram #gsplife #meandmydds #outdoorkids

One of my new favourite places to spank money I don’t have is Babi Pur. They’ve got everything from toys, clothes and baby carriers to lube, deodorant and sandwich bags. They’ve got your back, and it’s all just about as planet friendly and ethical as you can get. So I have to spend all that money I don’t have there, I have no choice, I’m helping the planet, duh. They’ve got reductions across their menstrual products at the moment so I fully blame them for mother nature returning from her gap yarr this week. Now, it’s just a bit of blood and I’m confident you can all handle this but, for anyone who is squeamish about this subject, now’s your chance to remember something VERY IMPORTANT you need to do immediately. Examples are; checking the car tyre pressures, taking the bins out and cleaning the oven, because you might as well do something constructive while the adults talk. I made the switch away from disposable sanitary products when my daughter was born. I looked at the washable wipes I’d bought for her and thought if I’m doing that I might as well do cloth nappies. I looked at the cloth nappies I’d bought and realised I’d be a hypocrite to use plastic sanitary products for myself. So here I am, with rags down my pants. Except everything is a lot less medieval than I anticipated. Cloth pads feel… nice. Don’t get me wrong, on a scale of things I’d find nice down my pants sanitary products of any sort don’t come top of the list... Read the full thing here: https://dogsanddependants.com/2018/10/21/a-nice-cuppa/ @babipur @putacupinit

Except everything is a lot less medieval than I anticipated. Cloth pads feel… nice. Don’t get me wrong, on a scale of things I’d find nice down my pants sanitary products of any sort don’t come top of the list, but these beat that disposable rubbish hands down. They’re comfy, absorbent, easy to clean (no stains, who’d have thought it?!) much better for my wallet and I don’t get crippling cramps anymore. However, I want to be free to live my life, period or not. So what about swimming, running*, jumping and, well, sleeping without leaving a trail for the bears to find me? I’ve always been more of a tampon than a pad kinda woman so where does this leave me? Well, I’ve taken the plunge and bought a menstrual cup. Admittedly I haven’t had a chance to take this bad boy for a proper test drive yet but after a day I’m already convinced it’s a little bit amazeballs. 12 hours use, no toxic shock syndrome, safe to sleep in, no more forgetting to buy tampons and two fingers up to the tampon tax once a month. I remember when I was a teenager seeing the adverts for Mooncups on the backs of toilet doors and thinking how horrific a dam up your downtown sounded. Thinking it through now though a dam sounds more attractive than a bundle of leaky synthetics** up your vajayjay. Also years of vomit, shit and two labours have upped my eww-factor. A bit of period blood is nothing compared to your dog shitting, eating it and throwing up. Surely if we bestow something the honour of entering our vaginas it should be the best? Aren’t we worth more? Put a cup in it have a quiz on their website to help with choosing wisely and you can find the Babi Pur reductions on their website. For the squeamish (read: pussies) it’s safe to return to the room now. *sort of, not really though, I’ll just put active wear on again **Honestly I haven’t spent hours looking in to this but it looks like tampons are mainly made of cotton and synthetics then bleached sometimes fragranced 🤷‍♀️ #babipur @babipur #putacupinit @putacupinit #lifewithkids #lifewithdogs #motherhood #meandmydds #dogsanddependants

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