I was going to write this when I was full of anger. Then I wasn’t, because what’s the point? Then I got angry again, because we are all tired of this. So now I will try to explain, bafflingly, to a Headteacher, why children go to parties. I have a nostalgia attached to the place... Continue Reading →
Lockdown Letters: Part 3
My family live a few hundred miles away. I don’t know if the distance has made it more obvious, or if it’s just time, but it’s clear now that my Dad and brother are becoming one person. While the rest of the world is trying their hand at bread, possibly even a Victoria Sponge, my... Continue Reading →
A guide: How to put gloves on a child
Step 1: Child complains of cold hands. Step 2: Search every consumable outlet for teeny tiny gloves. Step 3: Proudly present new purchase to child, who throws themselves to ground in disgust at prospect of wearing gloves. Step 4: Store unloved gloves in safe place. Step 5: Forget safe place. Step 6: Child proclaims... Continue Reading →
Lockdown Letters – Part 2
From: Me and my DDsSent: Wednesday, 12 January 2021To: FamilySubject: Lockdown three, week one Hi Dad Anticipating the announcement I stocked up on some paint to do the hallways. Should have realised this was optimistic, as soon as you say wet paint the kids see ‘big red button’. Must remember to only buy water based in future, where do... Continue Reading →
Lockdown Letters: Part 1
Lockdown Letters- Part 1 At five days in to the new year Britain has turned in to a sea of disposable masks, questionable home schooling and sourdough starters. A coalition has formed between the existing anti-vaxxers and newly emerged anti-maskers. On the basis of no one knowing or caring what local tier they are in,... Continue Reading →
Absent friends
I am stagnant. Not just with writing, with everything. I can’t be alone in being uninspired at the moment. 2020 has given me cankles, anxiety and zero drive. I’m not a total quitter, I can just about muster the enthusiasm to empty the contents of the fridge. Cankles take maintenance. As someone who doesn’t like... Continue Reading →
So how are you finding the outside world?
As an emotionally balanced, well rounded, proper grown up I’ve been preparing for my daughter starting school this September for a while now. Obviously not, I’ve been ignoring it, crying in to her baby grows and fooling myself that the 2020 shitstorm is on pause. Finally accepting this isn’t the case I took her out-out... Continue Reading →
Boundaries
Remember back in February when you thought you needed more work life balance and then March happened and now boundaries have taken a time out. How long is too long not to shower? Or dress the kids? Clean the house or leave the house? I had to fill the van up for the first time... Continue Reading →
Covid- do one
9 years ago our mum passed away. Her hand was held. The days up to her death were filled with visiting friends, she was never alone. The funeral was epic with friends, family, stories, fires and laughs. Nine years feels like long time and an instant all at once. At some point she will have... Continue Reading →
An apology
We took the van to the Lakes this weekend. It took approximately 150 Tracker bars to get the kids round the walk and two grown adults to lift the all weather hunting dog on to the scary boat at the end. We passed sheep, drenched Duke of Edinburgh students, smug runners and more sheep. We... Continue Reading →
Me and my DDs: dogs and dependants 