A guide: How to put gloves on a child

Step 1: Child complains of cold hands.

Step 2: Search every consumable outlet for teeny tiny gloves.  

Step 3: Proudly present new purchase to child, who throws themselves to ground in disgust at prospect of wearing gloves.

Step 4: Store unloved gloves in safe place.

Step 5: Forget safe place.

Step 6: Child proclaims gloves are Gods gift to humanity and must have them immediately.

Step 7: Find safe place. Lose one glove.

Step 8: Locate both gloves, and child’s optimism.

Step 9: Pull glove on to child’s hand.

Step 10: Child simultaneously loses and gains fingers, while changing the normal location of said appendages.

Step 11: Take a breath.

Step 12: Attempt to locate child’s fingers again.

Step 13: Fail.

Step 14: Scream in to pillow.

Step 15: Either; stay in the house until Summer, burn gloves- buy mittens or once glove position is secure, gaffa tape to child’s hand never to be removed.

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